water baby

So after I, nearly last minute, decided I really, really wanted a home birth, my fabulous & amazing Doula did some scrambling and found me a midwife who is available.  Best of all, it’s someone she works with at a Birthing Center, so they know each other & work well together – which bodes well for me, seeing as *I* won’t have much time to get to know her.

And I have to add – ladies, get yourself a Doula anytime you’re going to have a baby.  For real.  Velvet wrote me and extolled the virtues of Doulas ages ago, but I foolishly wasn’t convinced immediately.  I’m new to this, so I suppose it’s all part of her job, but it feels already like she’s gone far & above the call of duty.  Aside from spending her weekend sending emails to find me a home birth midwife, she’s offered support in every single aspect of this baby.  Not just in how to make the birth itself as comfortable as possible – but she’s been counseling Mr Nikki & I – or rather, Mr Nikki, in particular, in how to react & what I need during labor, our relationship to a degree, reassuring him & answering all his questions about birth & his fears about home birth and any problem that might arise… AND, she’s been supporting us and helping us figure out how to navigate the fact that he’s leaving work, how much paternity to take and how to manage packing up and moving to a whole other state with a newborn.  She’s AMAZING.  Even if we could figure out many of these things ourselves, it’s been incredibly reassuring.  Especially for Mr Nikki – I could see the relief flooding over him, just to be able to have an outlet & someone knowledgeable to ask questions of.

As for me, it’s been a great experience to have someone who knows what they’re talking about confirm all the things my instincts have been telling me.

SO.  Today we go meet with the midwife & get all the information we need – our “birthing kit” and a list of everything we should do to prepare.  I also found out that they bring a birthing tub, by default.  Heh.  This was my one holdout – for some reason, I’m all into home birth, but I say, “Eeeeh… birthing tubs aren’t for me.”  However, I may have learned my lesson by now – when Velvet makes a recommendation, it should certainly be considered!  I’m open to the idea, we’ll see how I feel.  Honestly, one of my hangups about it is that I’ll have two women I kinda know, regardless of how comfortable I am with them, and Mr Nikki, and the idea of waddling around and climbing into tubs all naked in my house feels a little weird.  However, I doubt you care much at that point.  AND, that’s also one of the reasons I’ve felt so strongly about natural birth & home birth – I didn’t want a standard, toned down hospital experience.  I wanted an intense, emotional experience where I wouldn’t have a choice but to be so overwhelmed (with good things) but to just let go & stop trying to control everything.  So we shall see.  Right now I’m thinking, “Seriously?  A birthing tub?  In THIS house?”  The only place I can think of putting it is in our dining room, which just cracks me up for some reason.

While we can afford it, I know many people who might want a birthing center or home birth cannot – midwives ain’t cheap.  At least, not the ones in LA.  And I think it’s downright shitty that insurance doesn’t cover all options for people, especially one as important as this.  The more I learn, the more horrified I am at the way women & childbirth are handled in this country.  And I feel more eager than ever to look into the midwifery school in Seattle (the same one that my Doula attended and a friend of mine is thinking of attending, as well.)

Best of all, the fact that Nugget is going to be born RIGHT HERE IN THIS HOUSE has finally seemed to jump start my “nesting instincts,” which have been sorely lacking.  Well, that and the impending move.  I’m cleaning & wanting to pack what little I can already, and I washed all Nugget’s baby clothes (LOVE the smell of the baby detergent), and today I’m putting together his bassinette (which Mr Nikki wants to do, but I’m impatient), baking, and making a ginormous pot of butternut squash soup.

Actually, that’s second best.  BEST of all is that even in our temporary housing in Seattle (while we look at houses to buy), we will absolutely have at least 2 bedrooms.  I’ve talked my parents into waiting an extra week or two to see us, so that they’ll be here for Christmas and will be able to stay with us.  I’ve never been able to offer that to my parents before and I am SO happy that instead of spending thousands of dollars to come out here to see their grandson, they’ll only have to pay a fraction of that for airfare.  And I’m THRILLED that they’ll be here for Christmas.  Or rather, THERE for Christmas.  And so will we!  I had thought, a couple months ago, that I would miserable to have to spend another Christmas in Los Angeles.  I moved here in Feb 07, so my first Christmas wasn’t until Dec 08.  And I’m pretty sure that’s what started the downward spiral.  Mr Nikki, last night, said that he was excited to start somewhere fresh together, in a place that was “ours” versus me coming out here for him.  I said that I liked it out here until I just couldn’t anymore… and Christmas might have been it.  It made me sad, the lack of everything that filled my Christmas memories.

But not anymore.  This Christmas will be chock full of good things.  So good that all the chaos of moving can’t possibly dampen our spirits.