inheritance

Mr Nikki was a proper baby.  He took only 2 days to latch on & breastfeed, he took proper baby naps.

I, on the other hand, was fed formula after 2 weeks because my mom was paranoid that I wasn’t getting enough to eat (I’m not sure why) and I was, in my mom’s words “miserable and cried a lot.”  I only ever really took 20 minute catnaps and I stopped napping entirely by 5 months.  My parents, in order to get me to sleep sometimes, would take me for long rides in the car (which might explain why I love driving & car rides so much to this day.)

Guess who Felix takes after most?  Guess whose personality he seems to be developing?

If you guessed MINE, you’d be correct.

Granted, Felix is still a rather easy baby, especially considering some of the horror stories I’ve heard.  His needs are simple, he’s started sleeping longer at night (when not having a growth spurt and don’t even get me started on that) but dear god – the kid doesn’t nap.  Ever. Once in a great while (though not for almost 2 weeks now), he’ll crash out during the afternoon for an hour or two.  But that’s rare.  If he seems to be falling asleep or I try to get him to nap, it’s only for about 20-30 minutes. (No, I know – before you suggest things to get him to sleep, believe me, I’ve tried it.  I know the 5 S’s and all that, I’ve tried everything, short of letting him cry himself to sleep which I absolutely will not do.  And the sling works, yes, except it’s really hard to be wearing a sling when you’re sitting down – plus, I’d worry about him being near all the heat that my laptop generates.  Even *I* get hot sitting near it sometimes.)

Granted, he’s generally pretty good-natured versus being cranky all the time for lack of sleep.  I know all the guidelines say babies should sleep around 16 hours a day and every couple hours.  Well, I tried to follow that but if there’s one thing that parenting has taught me it’s that guidelines are GUIDELINES but certainly not hard & fast rules that apply to all everyone.  All babies are NOT created equal and what works for you & yours will not necessarily work for me & mine.  And vice versa.

In any case.  SOME days he’s cranky & I feel that he really needs a nap.  But he won’t do it.  Oh, woe is you, poor child, for inheriting this trait from your mother.  I fear he’s going to turn out to be a tired, stressed out teenager/adult just like me and I’d love to spare him much of the misery I had.  (He also already shows my very intense nature & I really hope the long line of depression & anxiety hasn’t been passed on as well.)

It’s been hard for me, feeling attached to him all day & unable to do ANYTHING else besides watch over him.  My solution, though, I’ve realized is that I need to let myself be comfortable with just letting him hang out on his own.  I’ve had this hang up that I need to give him 100% of my attention when he’s awake – the few times I’ve let him hang out on his own, I feel wracked with guilt.  Stupid, seeing as he’s also demonstrated an extremely independent nature and always seems quite happy & content laying on his mat, looking around & thinking about whatever it is that he’s always thinking about.

My other solution is – I need to invest in a baby swing.  This may or may not be a huge help.  He sleeps, like me, when we’re moving – either in a stroller or in the car.  To the point where he’ll start to fuss at red lights, and quiet down immediately upon hitting the gas.   Even when he’s laying down, he is constantly moving.  Waving his arms around, running his little legs.  You’d think he’d exhaust himself with all that motion and just pass out, right?

So I thought, maybe a swing will be the answer.  Maybe if I get the one that’s been described as having “an agressive swinging motion” and which swings up “pretty high,” he might actually sleep in it.

You might be nodding your head & about to tell me the wonder & miracle of baby swings, but knowing him as I do, I suspect he’ll not be fooled and he’ll stare at me, wide eyed and awake, from whatever swing we purchase, more often than not.  We shall see.

Oh, and while I’m at it – how come even though I actually have a baby now, I still don’t get to be an expert?  Sigh.  Everything I say & do, I get moms giving me their advice or arguing with me or “informing” me, as if I don’t know anything.  I get it, my baby is still younger then theirs, so I’m still not AS MUCH an expert as they are.  Oh, you know the type of women I’m talking about.  It never seems to occur to them that while they may think my ideas are half-assed and strongly disagree with me, I still may be quite knowledgeable about it and know what I’m talking about?  And maybe, maybe *I* don’t agree with *them*.  Yet I somehow don’t think they don’t know what they’re talking about.  I just think they have a different set of opinions than I do.  Hell, even when some women agree with me, they still have to make it clear that they’re the expert & I’m the novice.  Or better yet, that x and y worked for them and z are the rules they learned, so I should do x and y also, because the rules z work for everyone.  Right?  All babies are the same, right?  Sigh.  It never ends.