boob job

No one ever really prepares you for breastfeeding – what a trial it will be, that is.  We, as women, worry so much about the birth (the labor, the pain, the fears, the preparation) that we don’t really think about afterward. Especially since breastfeeding is so natural & instinctual, right?  How hard could it really be?

Oh, how hard indeed… cackle cackle.

Breastfeeding is harder than pregnancy & labor/birth, by far.  Granted, I had an easy birth – but women I know who’ve had much harder births have said the same thing.  Breastfeeding takes longer to master, the problems don’t always have clear-cut answers, you’ve got a million people spewing opinions & advice at you which can make your head spin (I’ve declared a firm rule to everyone I encounter that I ONLY listen to my wonderful lactation consultant, so back off.)  Breastfeeding is also far more frustrating than labor & birth and painful in it’s own myriad of ways.

Breastfeeding takes up far more time, more energy & will exhaust you longer & harder than birth.  Breastfeeding will send you crashing up & down, emotionally, like a roller coaster gone off it’s tracks.  And breastfeeding will seriously make you take a long, hard look at yourself until you figure out what kind of mother you want to be and just how far you’re willing to go.  You’ll certainly find out what you’re made of when you start breastfeeding.

(Minus those rare people for whom it came easily – but those are in the minority.)

And this is what no one really warns you about ahead of time, when you’re pregnant.

My mom gave up after two weeks, because she felt emotionally wrecked with worry that I wasn’t getting enough.  She didn’t have the support that I did, and they certainly didn’t have an army of midwives that came with a lactation consultant or pay for post partum doulas to come in just for the purpose of helping you breastfeed.  If I didn’t have all that, I may have given up, also.  It’s not something you can do alone.  And there – if I had to choose just one piece of advice to give to pregnant women, it’s that.  Breastfeeding cannot & should not be done alone & don’t ever hesitate to ask for help.  It’s worth it.  Unfortunately, we no longer live in a world where women sit around breastfeeding in groups, supporting each other.  I don’t know that breastfeeding is even all that much a norm anymore.  We, as mothers, are more isolated and breastfeeding simply isn’t something that was meant to do alone.  So don’t.  And that’s my two cents.

We’ve been making progress & I’m feeling good about the process.  My goal is to have him back, fully on the boob by the time we move to Seattle because dealing with pumps & syringes are a big hassle.  With that in mind – I follow a hardcore breastfeeding activist on Twitter & I never cease to be amazed at people’s negative reactions to women doing it in public.  My attitude is pretty much that after all the work I’ve done to get here, I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone intimidate me out of breastfeeding in public, or feeling that I need to go out of my way to cover up.  Screw that.

7 thoughts on “boob job

  1. velvet

    i totally agree! breastfeeding was SO difficult for me, even with my second who was a great little nurser. it really does take a LOT out of you physically and emotionally, in a way that people who don’t breastfeed don’t understand. i am SO glad you have support – you are right, it is ESSENTIAL!!
    and yes, screw covering up! half the country has probably seen my boobs from nursing 🙂 and i couldn’t care less. my baby’s gotta eat!!

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  2. Petunia

    I agree. To this day (with my happy, healthy and totally bonded 2 year old son) I talk about my sense of failure not breastfeeding longer than a WEEK. I cried, more than i ever did. It HURT. I was alone, no friends or family in the state even..and my husband bless him tried to help byt getting different pumps, nipple balms, etc. It wasn’t enough. We couldn’t afford private helpers either.. and the bit of help I got from La leche was surprisingly not as good as i thought it would be. And when I heard my son was jaundiced/underfed that was it. I lost it. I wanted formula and that was it. I spent the 2 years at home with him so I feel better about the whole bonding thing but I’ll admit I felt like a loser for not getting something so ‘natural’. How did other women cope back when? What was wrong with me? It totally shook my core and made me doubt being a good mom.

    So glad you have help and can enjoy this though. I am pregnant with # 2 due in May and WILL try again. Scared to death, but I’m trying.

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  3. Nikooru

    Petunia – I so hear you. Felix was a tad jaundiced, and it started to go away quickly, but then he wasn’t getting enough milk and got MORE jaundiced and I lost it. I don’t know how I’d still be trying 3 weeks later if I had no help. I’m sorry to hear La Leche wasn’t much use – they’re so staunch about breastfeeding, it’s disappointing to hear they don’t always hold up their end.

    Where do you live? My lactation consultant is AMAZING. I feel so lucky to have her. She consults w La Leche sometimes, she might know of someone for you to call for the next try. 🙂 You’re brave for wanting to go at it again – this is sone seriously hard work!!

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  4. velvet

    petunia – hi 🙂 i just read your comment and i just wanted to tell you i can relate!! i nursed my first for only 5 months, and it was SUCH a struggle every single day! and i had to supplement with formula during that time, too, since i just couldn’t make enough milk and he had such a hard time gaining 🙁 i felt terrible, like here i was mz. hardcore natural, but i couldn’t even breastfeed right! i didn’t have any support, either, at that time.
    BUT i wanted to tell you that with my second, it was TOTALLY better – i had enough milk, way more knowledge, and he was like, the fattest little piggie ever 🙂 so that made me feel SO much better about it – not like a loser mom, anymore 🙂 so i bet the second time around will be SO much easier for you!!

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  5. Petunia

    Aww, thanks for the shout outs:( Nikooru- I’m in Austin.. so in advance I am checking around for people/support as opposed to a hired solo lactation consultant to see if that covers things.

    @ Velvet- it’s honestly reassuring it *could* be better second time around. I know my mindset and being positive will have a big impact on me going back into boob territory (ha). I just saw a recent post here on a helpful breastfeeding book too so I;m going to pick it up and read it as well:)

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