You know when you have so much to say, you just wind up saying nothing? That’s how it is. Not in a negative way and really, not much is going on and yet it feels like a lot is going on. I guess it’s the whole adjusting to a schedule & being in the new house.
I finally caved in and started looking for babysitters. Mr Nikki has been bugging me to do so, to give myself a break and just have a chance to do stuff on my own sometimes. I found one that I really like & feel comfortable with. Especially since I discovered she doesn’t seem to be aware that her Facebook page is entirely public. *snort* Yes, of course I looked. I’ve never been the type to look people up when I was dating and such, but when it comes to my kid, I’ll scope you out. And what I found is that I was right – she’s just a nice, normal 19 year old who likes concerts, goes to parties, has the occasional beer – but all within what I deem normal & fine and certainly a hell of a lot better than *I* was at 19!
I have her coming in the early evening for 3 hours – I have an appointment for an hour and I’ve no idea what I’ll do with the other 2 hours. I don’t really know what I’ll do with the possibility of having time to myself, I’m at a loss. Even though there’s PLENTY I could do besides just go grocery shopping unfettered. I’d like to go to a museum, take my laptop to a cafe, wander around the waterfront downtown, make an eye doctor appointment and get new glasses. I’ve been dying to get a pair of black frames.
Right now I’ll tell you that I’m not nervous or worried about it. Leaving him with a sitter. Ask me again a half hour after I’ve left.
** I started this post earlier in the day and returned to it in the evening, AFTER the babysitting adventure. Or, the adventure in babysitting. Did I say I wasn’t that nervous? By the time she arrived, I was hot and flushed. By the time I got in the car and pulled out of the driveway, I was sweating profusely and by the time I got on the highway, my stomach was burning. THAT, my friends, is the panic attack of denial. But I eventually cooled down and returned to a happy & safe Nugget.
This babysitter (who’ll I call “Montana”, since that’s where she’s from) has another part time nanny job every morning till 11:30 am. This totally sucks for me. After this one time that she watched Felix, I absolutely love her and feel like I hit the jackpot, as far as babysitters go. So now I’m on the hunt for a morning sitter, for when I’m working. That’s right, working! The company I’ve done all the training for over the past couple years (and worked on and off with for close to 10) has begged me to start doing online training for them again. It’s only a few days a month, typically, but with one full day of training I can nearly pay off my credit card charge in full for the Fiorentini + Baker boots I’ve coveted for the past 2 years. Plus, it’ll be nice to have “my own” money in the bank and when I buy gifts for Mr Nikki, it won’t just be buying it with money HE earned. Ya know? Not that he cares, at all, but I do. AND, as he’s so fond of pointing out, with me doing work occasionally, that means part of our house qualifies as a tax deduction.
So anyway. 99% of the time, the clients I train are on the East Coast. Which means working anywhere from 5am to 2pm. I have 4 full days coming up, so I need to find someone else to cover, starting at 9:30 am. Which means finding another sitter for those hours. Unless I can bribe Montana to ditch her other family when I need her. Which I can’t.
Finding a babysitter is a funny thing. Originally, I’d thought NO TEENAGERS. No early 20 somethings. Now I find that those are my preference. Err… maybe not. 19 doesn’t count as a teenager. But I’ve realized that I actually DON’T want someone in their 40s or 50s, because I’m afraid they’ll be too know-it-all-ish or judgemental (I’m thinking of my defensiveness about the whole pumping thing.) And I don’t want someone with their own children, because I want MINE to be the focus. Lastly, as much as I don’t like to be judgmental or over paranoid, I absolutely will not contact any of the men who’ve posted profiles on this particular childcare site. Why not? I mean, girls can be just as prone to wrong-doing and it’s not really fair that the couple of perfectly nice & innocent looking college guys who’ve posted won’t get much work, but… ya know. I don’t know.
I prefer fresh-faced, collegiate younger women – bubbly and happy and full of patience and energy. I also found that I’ve only been contacting girls who A) mention lots of experience with babies in their profiles and B) have made a career (temporary or otherwise) around children or who are majoring in things like human development, psychology or education (as Montana is.) Is that weird?
I will say, now that I have Montana, it’s a bit of a relief to be able to do things like just go to the eye doctor without all the extra cargo. Feels weird, but so much easier.
Babysitters, I think, are a good idea to some degree, also because I’m not the most social person. I worry that strangers will freak him out & when we leave him with my parents for a week to go to Iceland/Holland, he’ll think we’re not coming back or something. So this is good practice for both of us.