For the millionth time in the past couple months, kid (kid? teen?) came a-knocking at our door, asking me to buy stuff for their fundraiser.
I feel like a real sh*t saying no to them, and wonder if everyone on the block is going to think I’m a bitch for doing so. (Wow. Only 3 sentences so far and already 3 curse words? Pardon.)
I say no because… well, A) I am kind of crotchety about such things. I HATE people knocking on my door to sell me crap – be it tree services, encyclopedias, or children having fundraisers and B) Dude, I don’t buy girl scout cookies, either, and when they get in my face, I point blank tell them that once they overhaul their cookie recipes to include more easily pronounceable ingredients and NO high fructose corn syrup, I’ll buy again. I also tell the adults with them that I’m not the only person who’s stopped buying their cookies in protest of a better recipe. I emailed them and I tweeted at them. GIRL SCOUTS, TAKE NOTICE. My point, however, is that I say no to these well-meaning kids that come to my door because they try to shove king-sized peanut butter cups & gummi bears at me. We seriously don’t eat that stuff. And I tell them so.
Oh, today was quite amusing, actually. I opened the door and the kid asked me if my mom or dad was home. I’m not kidding. Mind you, I’m really tired today and have had about an hour of sleep, so I snarked at him, “Excuse me?” I know, I should have taken it as a compliment. He got all surprised and said, “YOU’RE the mom? Sorry, you look young.” I’m cynical, and I thought, “Oh, great line. It’ll get you nowhere.”
So he gave me his spiel and I cut him off, eyeing up the box of candy he had with him. “I’m sorry,” I said, “we really don’t eat that stuff.”
He said, and I quote, “Oh, well… it stays good for a couple years…”
I’m not really sure why he responded that way, but I thought, “Uh, yeah. That’s exactly what I’m talking about.” Food is supposed to spoil & go bad, not “stay good for a couple years.” Anyway. I had to explain. “We don’t eat processed foods and candy and stuff with high fructose corn syrup.”
That just confused him, but he plowed on, saying I could just donate, then. I politely declined and he looked disappointed, thus making me feel like the aforementioned sh*t.
The last kid that came, I told him, “We don’t eat that stuff and you shouldn’t either.” Yes, I really said that.
I can’t wait for Nugget to start school. Mr Nikki said I’ll be the scourge of the PTA. Oh, I’m joining and I’m going to TAKE OVER. I’m already plotting a plan of attack to revamp this fundraising stuff. They shouldn’t be selling it, I’m sorry. No more than they should be able to buy soda/soft drinks from vending machines at school.
If it HAS to be something like chocolate, then I’d like to recommend they team up with a local company, such as Theo Chocolate. It’s a LOCAL company, which could be used to teach a valuable lesson. They sell FAIR TRADE, ORGANIC chocolate, it’s doesn’t have all the mystery ingredients of say, a Snickers, and kids could actually tour the factory to see how it all works.
Ideally, seeing as we are SURROUNDED by farms & farmer’s markets, I’d like to see them do something with that, as part of their fundraising. No, ok, maybe selling, say, fresh produce, isn’t as fun as crap candy and would take some time to catch on. But in case you didn’t notice, I’m not one to take the easy way out or to do things that go against my morals in the interest of saving or making money. I believe that schools should be teaching similar values.
So, PTA – bring it on.
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