ex-mas

We don’t “do” Santa in our house. I had never really thought much about it, Santa always seemed like a given, but then when our son was a year old I found I couldn’t get myself to start with all the Santa hoopla.

It’s not a political statement and it’s not because I’m grinch-y – I’ve just never been good at lying or doing things I don’t believe in or support. I’m honest to a fault so I couldn’t manage all the lying, no matter what the cause. I cannot stand the idea of promoting the concept of “being good” for the sake of getting lots of stuff nor using the promise of “stuff / toys” as blackmail against my son. I hate consumerism and the “game” of Santa is SO much different from when I was little. And yes, my parents did Santa for me as a child. When I first debated what to do in our house, I realized that all the things that I loved and remembered best from my own childhood had nothing to do with Santa. I mean, I have a couple of amusing memories but that’s not what stands out or matters to me. Then when I asked Husband about it, he realized they hadn’t “done” Santa in his household. He grew up in a house with Moravian (religious) parents and Santa was just never brought up. His childhood is none the worse for lack of Santa and mine is none the better for the “presence” of Santa.

So the hell with it. No Santa. Ironically, our kid never cared and knew the truth but THS year he’s become obsessed. We needn’t have worried about parents getting angry at us for him ruining the fun for other kids – nope, THEY made Christmas difficult for US as they managed to convince our kid that he’d better behave and beg for lots of stuff. *LOL* After hearing all his friends talk about Santa, seeing Santa in a hundred car commercials, and seen Santas all over town, he has insisted that he knows that Santa IS real and it’s fine if we don’t believe in him. I don’t see any harm in letting him go on pretending – we even let him go talk to a Santa in a Christmas village, but I was concerned about his disappointment on Christmas morning when he woke up to only the packages that he’s seen me wrap for him. It’s probably more of a concern for me than it will be for him, but I’ve chosen to let him go on talking about Santa after having a brief chat about make believe and fun games. I think he gets it.

But I’ve found myself increasingly “disenchanted” with Christmas as a whole. I’m not a scrooge, I don’t hate Christmas and I’m not jaded against it. I love going to see all the house decked out for Christmas (like the one in the pictures above – we go see the Menashe Family house every year). I love getting the tree and all that. However, the concept of Christmas as I know it – buying a pile of presents to wrap in paper that will just get torn up and thrown away for a holiday that doesn’t really have personal meaning to me… it’s beginning to feel very strange. I thought that, with a kid, Christmas would be an even bigger deal but that’s not the case. We’ve always kept gifts to a minimum – we’re trying to instill values of quality over quantity and not accumulating a ton of stuff just to have stuff. We try not to buy a lot of useless junk and we’re very discerning about toys. I wouldn’t say we’re overly frugal – I’ve got a couple pairs of handmade Italian shoes and the most expensive jacket I’ve ever owned, though they are things that I bought because they are of high quality and I expect them to last me a decade or more.

We buy our son toys throughout the year, in moderation. I’m confused as to why we’re pushing to come up with a large quantity all at once for this one holiday that doesn’t line up with anything we believe in. I’d be totally fine if Husband and I got absolutely nothing for each other – though he usually can’t resist buying a couple of things so I do the same just to keep it fair. My mom sends insistent emails about ideas for us for Christmas until I finally comb through Amazon wish lists and spend weeks straining my brain for a list of stuff I want. We’re fortunate. We don’t really need anything. Things I want are big things that can’t be put on a Christmas list – new flooring, cabinets, etc as we work on redoing bathrooms. Replacing doors that the previous owners of our house busted up. Or big things that I don’t want my mom spending the money on – another good cashmere sweater to replace a few cheap, old sweaters that I never wear.

Otherwise, throughout the year, as I see things my husband would like, I just get it. If he needs new gloves, I’d rather he has those back in November when the weather turns cold rather than waiting for the end of December. I like to make gifts but this year I’ve been so busy with school that I haven’t had time.

And then there’s the fact that I’m 100% Atheist, through and through. My husband isn’t religious and my son also agrees that he doesn’t believe in God. (Talk about a war against Christmas in this  house! ha!) Honestly, to me, Santa and Jesus are one and the same – a guy with a beard who spies on everyone from afar and knows every single thing you do and think; If you don’t behave the way he wants you to then you can forget getting a pile of presents or getting into Heaven. Santa is the little kids’ version of Jesus. I’ve always bristled at the idea of being “good” for the sake of reward.

We’ll continue to decorate a tree, because it’s pretty. And we’ll buy little gifts for the Kid, because he’s a kid. But most likely the older he gets, the fewer the gifts will be and hopefully once he’s a teenager we can dispense with gifts altogether. (Damn, his girlfriends are going to HATE me.)

 

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