First day of Winter Quarter today – back at it!
If there is one thing to ever be known about me, it’s that I go at things full force. “Balls to the wall”, if you will. This means that, comparing all my past experiences with school and today, I either throw my hands up and don’t bother (usually if I hate the teacher or think I’m in “danger” of getting a B or less) or I burn out with intense studying and obsessions with 4.0’s.
I used to read. A LOT. I know lots of people say this but I really mean A LOT. (And I’m a speed reader who retains – a blessing this quarter since there will be a ton of reading for online classes.) When I was little, I asked for lots of books for Christmas. On Christmas Day, I’d unwrap a nice big pile of ten or more books… And be done with them all well before New Year’s.
I haven’t read much in the past several years and it’s not exactly that I haven’t had time. I’ve had a lot of time that I managed poorly. I still manage time poorly but I do get done what I need. I’ve realized that part of why I haven’t been reading is because when I read, I read in the same manner in which I do everything – completely. Obsessively. Hitting the pages hard and devouring until I’m done within a day or two. I haven’t had the time or energy to read like that – reading ten pages a day or whatever it is that people do doesn’t work for me. I realize lad this over Winter break when I determined I would SPEND TIME READING and finished one book, then started another. I’ve been carrying the second book around with me, reading while making dinner and on the bus to campus. I’m only a quarter way through and anxious because I love this book but the quarter has started and I will be obsessively studying. I cannot split my obsessiveness between two things, ya know?
AND I’ve let my physical yoga practice fall by the wayside since I started at UW. Oops. Again, I either become obsessed with and LIVE YOGA or I do nothing. Tonight I’m starting a 6 week Ashtanga workshop series with a teacher I really like – I’m a little panicked about committing to something else with a three class load but it’s only one night a week, so we’ll see.
This quarter I’ve determined to try to find more balance. Slowly, in steps. Rather than beating myself up for not doing an hour of yoga every single day, I’ll start with this once a week workshop and BE OK with ok my doing it once or twice a week for now. (It’s a workshop to help me work on my home practice so ideally it will naturally turn into more.) I’ve made a rule that the time on the bus is for reading – leisure reading – only. I will TRY to keep school work to workweek style hours – 9-5. Weekends only for brief review or tests. Thank God for the dog, she gets me out for midday breaks in the woods.
I will try to chill the eff out about 4.0’s. None of the three classes I’m taking this quarter count towards the cumulative GPA for the core courses required to apply to the paych major. (Though I still need decent grades for grad school and all that jazz. And I am still an overachiever, after all.)
But this quarter I will begin working towards finding balance. Or something that better resembles balance. With the biggest class load I’ve had yet!